#1. Don’t Edit / Facetune / Snapchat Filter your face

So you Download an App and you’re like okay, let me put my best “Face” forward. I have to use parentheses of course because of the obscene amount of filters some people use. So I guess that is easily number one. Do not filter or edit your face/body. Or at the bare minimum remain recognizable. Unless you’re trying to be on the next episode of Catfish, what are you doing? Do you never plan on meeting the person in real life? Do you think by that time they’ll have “fallen” for the “real” you? Come on, let’s be realistic and address the fact people are using apps for the primary reason of being able to easily filter out exactly what they don’t want!

Ps. If someones’ first picture is with a Snapchat filter, it is to be assumed you’re ugly or conceited, why else would you want to “amp” up your face?

#2 You are not god’s gift to this green earth, have a seat.

The girls who sit down and write a novel about how they are queens waiting for their king, how they are a gem and need to be treasured….god I can’t even continue. Self Confidence is attractive, yes if anything it is a must to a certain extent. But you are not fooling anyone with that speech. You come across as needy, insecure and just straight-up crazy.

#3 Know Your Angles

Don’t take pictures from underneath, just don’t. Nobody wants to see up your nostrils and you just gave yourself a double chin…not cute. Don’t take photos straight on, you look like a sociopath, ie. “mugshot”.

#4 Do not list your likes/dislikes

Casually listing your interests is one thing, but don’t write 23 things that you are looking for in someone and 65 things you don’t like. Even worse than writing likes/dislikes is putting them in emoji form. How much time did you spend looking for each one? How do you even know those emojis exist? Nobody has time to read your high maintenance bio. Try Match.com you may have better luck there…better yet christianmingle.

#5 First Questions

By all means, never, ever, let these be your first questions/responses

-So, what are you looking for on here

-Wow I thought we matched by accident

-I didn’t expect you to actually message me

-Are you real?

-Send nudes

-Netflix and chill?

-I just told my friends we matched

And please don’t quadruple message someone…that’s a sure way to get blocked.

If you are unsure of someone’s heritage, just ask, but don’t assume.

#6 Don’t copy and paste what you saw on the internet

Seeing someones bio say “Recommended by 5 out of 5 people who recommend things” is a sure way to be swiped left. It shows you have no creativity and can’t come up with your own content. It also shows you think it’s okay to steal someone else’s’ jokes. Which it isn’t…that’s called plagiarism, look it up.

#7 Don’t Explain your pics

If you have to put an explanation, don’t put it.

#8 No Shirtless/ Gym / Thong/ Mirror selfies

Just don’t. You look desperate and narcissistic.

#9 Connecting your Instagram

If you’re going to connect your Instagram you should have more followers than following. I understand this sounds ridiculous but it shows more people care about you than you care about social media. It makes you seem like you’re not a couch potato masturbating to Instagram models all day. Don’t have more than a few selfies. If you’re a guy you shouldn’t have more selfies on your page than a girl would. Don’t have multiple pictures of basically the exact same thing. Be mindful of which hashtags you use. Last but not least, going back to my first point…don’t over-edit your pictures.

#10 If you can’t afford a date, don’t do it.

I’ve been on dates where I’ve split the bill, had to pay for the bill or been expected to pay for the bill. If you aren’t going to treat, then don’t ask to eat. Go for a hike or walk instead, plenty of free things available to do in every city, google them and they’ll appreciate your creativity.